What is an emotion? Is it where the intangible mind meets the physical body? Is it an energetic substance produced by the heart space? Is it something vital to life—like the elements of earth, water, fire, or air?
One time I was sitting on the train tracks, waiting for a text response from a girl I had asked out on a date. I remember how much the suspense was killing me. If only she would say yes. If only my wishes would come true. If only...
Well, she did say yes, and the date turned into a relationship, but in a matter of a few months, I found myself sitting on the train tracks again, but this time wishing for a much different result, albeit with a similar intensity of wantingness. Please disentangle me from this relationship. Please let me be single again. Please let me be free.
Emotions...they can be fickle, can't they? Desire, in particular, is a volatile animal.
I've succumbed to a few errant desires—impulses that have led me astray, ideas that have gone wrong, actions that have brought about confusion and despair. Who hasn't?
Even so, I'm not quite ready to throw out the baby with the bathwater, as they say. I still believe in the purity of desire, in its fertility and divinity. When desire is stretched out over a long period of years/decades/centuries, we call that devotion. And devotion is beyond whimsical moods and rash decisions, isn't it? Devotion endures the self-beatings, survives the tragedies, transforms the raw into the refined.
I think if I'm devoted to any higher ideal, it would probably have to be the actualization of heaven on Earth. Not heaven in the next life (nothing wrong with that, of course), but heaven in this life. How heavenly can I become in this body?—that is the question. Naturally, I have my own perception and imagination in regards to what heaven means, and my heaven on Earth is surely not the same as everybody else's, but there must be a few out there who are envisioning my kind of playground. And when mine and yours intertwine and merge, then the space becomes ours.
As Mikey said in The Goonies: "Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here."
So, with that utopian ideal perpetually on the horizon of my mind, all emotions (no matter how base or noble) can be directed to actualizing that reality. That is the only formula I think will work, because it's the formula that's been working for time immemorial, if you review the history books.
Vision + Desire + Action = Achievement (with persistence and consistency being the underlying qualities on the left side of the equation)
Thank you for reading. Be still, and flow.